Emerald Catron
Snooki’s Baby Is Here, Still Sober(?)
Snooki is finally ready to show her baby to the world, and it is just slightly bigger than her enormous false lashes. Lorenzo and his mom appear on the cover of People magazine, and he is tiny and cute and appropriately tiny for a baby. (Though his hair is somewhat smaller than expected.)
Baskin-Robbins Now Offering Ice Cream Nachos
You can call them by their proper name, “Waffle Chip Dippers,” all you want. Those, friends, are ice cream nachos. Baskin-Robbins is selling them at select locations for $2.99, which is significantly less than the cost of nachos that aren’t made out of ice cream, last we checked.
RIP Neil Armstrong — Fellow Astronauts Mourn His Death
Neil Armstrong, the first man to walk on the moon, passed away this weekend from complications caused by recent heart surgery. He was 82 years old.
Asking for Directions Left Beanie Baby Billionaire Tipping $20,000
Try not to get too depressed that the Beanie Baby guy is a billionaire — at least he’s using his money for good, rather than evil. Ty Warner recently gave a woman who was trying to raise money for a medical procedure $20,000 for giving him directions.
Jerry Nelson, the Man Behind the ‘Sesame Street’ Count, Has Passed
It’s a sad day for lovers of ‘Sesame Street’ everywhere — Jerry Nelson, the puppeteer who gave Count von Count his voice passed away Thursday of unspecified causes at the age of 78.
‘Chillax’ Named One of the Most Important Words in English Language
In other depressing news, an Honorary Professor of Linguistics has gone ahead and put “chillax” on the list of the 100 words that have helped define the English language throughout history. Lord help us all, we thought people only said it as a joke to make fun of the people who actually say it (who don’t actually exist, right?).