Santa Baby.  It’s nice to know as we mark the birth of our Savior that high priced call girls are getting all sorts of new toys.

Ever wonder what noise a whale makes when it gets harpooned?

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.  I loved my grandmothers and as I’ve been told by family members neither one of them was ever drunk during their lifetimes, much less staggering home on Christmas Eve!

Baby it’s Cold Outside.  This song gets a bad rap from the politically correct.  They call it the date rape song.  Hardly!  We need to remember the context of the time when it was written.  Late 1940s and as a musical interlude, although.  My beef isn’t with a modern interpretation of the lyrics.  It’s just not about Christmas.

The Hawaiian song or whatever it’s called.  Is he singing about Kenyan Mau-Mau?

Please, Daddy.  Same theme as Grandma getting plowed by a reindeer when she’s plowed but much sadder.  We all want to be reminded people are being slapped around at Christmas.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (Dean Martin version).  The great crooner slurs his way through this classic and calls the ninth Reindeer, “Rudy”.

The song about the shoes.  This is in the same category as drunken, angry dad and starving Africans.  I do care about suffering but a couple of nights a year I try and focus on hope and one of those times is Christmas.

The kid missing his two front teeth.  Call a dentist!  I’m told one elf took it up as a career change.

Santa Claus is Coming to Town (Bruce Springsteen version).  Ever wonder what noise a whale makes when it gets harpooned?

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.  No wonder the old man goes on Christmas Eve benders!