Few people in American political history have been as calculating and conniving as U.S. Senator Chuck Schumer.

Schumer got whipped like a customer at a Nevada whorehouse. #SchumerShutdown

I’ve got an old VHS tape at home where he stops along a parade route and asks my then 5-year-old daughter to give him 5!  She really whacked him a good one that day.

What he experienced Monday was a much bigger thumping.

Here were some of my thoughts among two dozen I tweeted following his spectacular blunder on the government shutdown:

 

Chuck Schumer got rolled like asphalt on a new highway. #SchumerShutdown

Chuck Schumer squeezed like Myron Floren's accordion. #SchumerShutdown

Schumer Shutdown KO'd faster than Sonny Liston. #SchumerShutdown

Schumer got whipped like a customer at a Nevada whorehouse. #SchumerShutdown

Schumer got hosed like Trump in a Moscow hotel. #SchumerShutdown

Schumer cracked like a 3 egg omelet. #SchumerShutdown

Schumer fizzled faster than a bottle rocket in rain. #SchumerShutdown

Schumer shrank faster than George Costanza in a pool. #SchumerShutdown

Schumer's going to campaign in the Philippines as the Manila Folder. #SchumerShutdown

Schumer wilted faster than the Vikings defense! #SchumerShutdown

Schumer folded quicker than the Italian Army in North Africa! #SchumerShutdown

Chris Hondros, Getty Images. Didn't Chuck have a TV show???