Allow me to paint a picture. A family walks into a movie theater to buy tickets. It’s early because they wanted time to buy snacks and get their favorite seats. They settle into the perfect spot and prepare for their chosen entertainment. Innocent enough, right?

After the opening credits, our story of a family outing takes a disturbing turn. Right-side moviegoer whispers to the person in the middle. The individual sitting on the left side whispers to the person in the middle. The middle sitter never hears the whole movie. Ever. Can you guess who the middle sitter is?

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Yeah, it’s me. My husband and daughter insist that I be the one to sit in the middle as they regale me with running commentary on the movie as we are watching it. Though I love “Mystery Science Theather 3000”, this isn’t it. I haven’t had a quiet movie experience since we started bringing my daughter to the movies with us. Not only do I not hear what is going on, but other people attending might also want to listen. The family thinks they are quiet enough, but they are wrong.

What People Hate About Other People in the Theater

As the summer movie season is upon us, let’s review the movie-watching sins and how we can do better as a community.

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Turn off your cell phone - if you are a person on-call, at least silence it and answer after you have left the seating area.

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Saving seats - aside from preemptive bathroom breaks or holding for someone in line at the snack counter, don’t. Other people came early to get a good seat. They deserve it. Plus, seats are assigned now when you buy your tickets.

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Feet on the floor - not on the seat or armrest in front of you. Even if there is no one in front of you now, there may be at the next showing.

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Try to eat quietly - maybe open candy wrappers in preparation before the movie starts.
Also, remember that shushing loud candy and popcorn eaters is bad - just as bad as the person you are wanting to be silent.

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PDA is not okay- a peck on the cheek is fine but keep any extra antics away from the rest of us.

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Wake the sleepers - sleep happens, but if someone in your party snores, make them stop.

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Talk about the movie in the lobby. Talk about the movie in the car. Anywhere else but in the theater, really.

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Bus your station - clean up anything you might have dropped and throw away snack debris. Nobody wants to step in that.

Now we can all enjoy the movies together. If you find these rules too hard to follow, streaming at home is always an option.

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